Oh dear, I lost my house keys and I had to wait for my parents to reach home at 5pm+. I had taken a half day's leave with the intention to spend half a day at home doing some outstanding chores. In the end, I had to spend nearly a couple of hours sitting lonely at Old Town coffee surfing on my netbook. Not complaining at all and I feel life has never been this good since since I asked Marie C. for help.
Another friend called me up and sounded very down. She lost a few thousand ringgits trading at Dow Jones this week. As I am not a share person, I have no idea at all, except that it was very volatile recently while reading from the press reports. Well, I consoled her as much as I could in layman's language.
But I thing I admire about this friend is that she really has some spirits to venture into unknown while most of us are happy doing a 9 to 5 job without wanting to rock the boat that carries our comfy lives. She is different and she dares to go out of the box. Her mind is working non stop and ideas coming from nowhere so often.
For this alone, I admire her, as ultimately, I am a conservative person in my appetite for risks and unknowns.
Showing posts with label friend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friend. Show all posts
Friday, November 6, 2009
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
In harmony to meet new people
It's good to meet new and nice people. This shows that your chakra is in harmony with the surrounding. Sometimes I join my friends to meet their own group of friends during weekend hours. I quite enjoy social networking with real people, not those on the websites where profiles could be faked. Somehow I feel I have changed for the better in this area, last time I was rather reluctant. Hails to Marie Callas for my positive changes!
Some people say I have a natural flair to network. Yes, getting to know people about some introductions is easy for me, but building up a new friendship or to know that new person better is a tough assignment. I think friendships should not based on looks because looks could fade.
For example, I met last weekend a couple who was really nice and they work full time on their own trading options. That's amazing! One of old friend is their disciple and my friend wanted me to meet her "mentors".
We talk a lot over the high tea, from local politics to economics which is always a profound topic to me. I really learn a lot. In the end, I wish to say "it's refreshing to meet such nice people!"
Some people say I have a natural flair to network. Yes, getting to know people about some introductions is easy for me, but building up a new friendship or to know that new person better is a tough assignment. I think friendships should not based on looks because looks could fade.
For example, I met last weekend a couple who was really nice and they work full time on their own trading options. That's amazing! One of old friend is their disciple and my friend wanted me to meet her "mentors".
We talk a lot over the high tea, from local politics to economics which is always a profound topic to me. I really learn a lot. In the end, I wish to say "it's refreshing to meet such nice people!"
Friday, July 4, 2008
My friend - a case of self abandonment
My friend, Li Yen (L.Y.), was heartbroken recently. Love is always the affairs of the heart, especially for women, for we are more emotional and sentimental. In such an event, we are the ones who suffer the most emotionally. I had remembers just end of last year, LY had told me how fortunate she was to have him and how wonderful he was. I had given her my best blessings then..but now, I am the one to console her.
They had plans to get married by next year as LY was not young anymore. She is 6 years younger than me hence you can know I am old! But after listening to her plights, I realise that all are not well between them as they had quarrels over little things but they managed to patch back fast.
As I know LY for over 2 decades, I know she had been through many of these break-ups and each one of them was equally dramatic and sympathetic. Sad to say, she had phobias but he appeared and managed to sweep her off her feet with his assurances. I remembered she said it was worth the wait. But I think by now..she must have grown numb of such affairs and i wonder how life will be like for her next time.
As i listen to her, the more I realise my friend LY has an obvious pattern that started since her childhood and this pattern continually manifested in each of her relationships.
She had a strict father who was the head of the household and as a smart kid, she knew she that as long as she won her dad's approval, her mom would be powerless to object her. That was why LY was always doing her best to win the approval. Only dad's approval and attention could bring her security and warmth of the family. This trend continued when she was into her late teens and twenties...
And for each of her romances, she wanted the guys to be responsible for how she feels she was worth. She then had to try to have control over his treating her the way she wanted to be treated so that she felt loved and worthy.
You can say she was the controlling kind of personality. She could cry, throw tantrums, get angry over little things, reprimand and etc....And when she got what she wanted from the guys, she was sweet, loving and caring. It was like there was two personalities in her. Even my friendship with her was not without any difficulties too. And she is always the one to throw the blames fast and quick....
In a way, I pity those guys who were with her. I had wanted to talk to her about it and each time she just wouldn't listen. So she became in and out of relationships that lasted not more than 2 years each time. Her latest one was the best she had as it was over 3 years! The guy must be very tired and overwhelmed by the responsibility of her feelings and ended the relationship.And now LY had treated him like an enemy who reneged on the promise.
Psychic Marie Callas calls this kind of human behaviour as "self-abandonment".
LY had really self abandoned her own feelings and she is happy to let others make her happy. Being happy is no longer her own responsibility but other people. Instead of learning about how she was treating herself when she felt alone, anxious, or depressed, she always looked for someone or something outside of herself to make her feel better.
In this kind of character, there is heavy judgement of oneself and thinking she is not good enough. So this kind of personality will look for others to make her feel good - in this case, her dad when she was young and boyfriends when she was a grown up.
As a good friend, I managed to tell her to listen to my view. She has to take responsibilities for her own feelings. She nodded in tears and agreed to listen to me and change her behaviour for the better and this is the last time she wanted to suffer this way.
Hopefully, this will make her more sensible and make her a better person. I wish the best for my dear friend.
They had plans to get married by next year as LY was not young anymore. She is 6 years younger than me hence you can know I am old! But after listening to her plights, I realise that all are not well between them as they had quarrels over little things but they managed to patch back fast.
As I know LY for over 2 decades, I know she had been through many of these break-ups and each one of them was equally dramatic and sympathetic. Sad to say, she had phobias but he appeared and managed to sweep her off her feet with his assurances. I remembered she said it was worth the wait. But I think by now..she must have grown numb of such affairs and i wonder how life will be like for her next time.
As i listen to her, the more I realise my friend LY has an obvious pattern that started since her childhood and this pattern continually manifested in each of her relationships.
She had a strict father who was the head of the household and as a smart kid, she knew she that as long as she won her dad's approval, her mom would be powerless to object her. That was why LY was always doing her best to win the approval. Only dad's approval and attention could bring her security and warmth of the family. This trend continued when she was into her late teens and twenties...
And for each of her romances, she wanted the guys to be responsible for how she feels she was worth. She then had to try to have control over his treating her the way she wanted to be treated so that she felt loved and worthy.
You can say she was the controlling kind of personality. She could cry, throw tantrums, get angry over little things, reprimand and etc....And when she got what she wanted from the guys, she was sweet, loving and caring. It was like there was two personalities in her. Even my friendship with her was not without any difficulties too. And she is always the one to throw the blames fast and quick....
In a way, I pity those guys who were with her. I had wanted to talk to her about it and each time she just wouldn't listen. So she became in and out of relationships that lasted not more than 2 years each time. Her latest one was the best she had as it was over 3 years! The guy must be very tired and overwhelmed by the responsibility of her feelings and ended the relationship.And now LY had treated him like an enemy who reneged on the promise.
Psychic Marie Callas calls this kind of human behaviour as "self-abandonment".
LY had really self abandoned her own feelings and she is happy to let others make her happy. Being happy is no longer her own responsibility but other people. Instead of learning about how she was treating herself when she felt alone, anxious, or depressed, she always looked for someone or something outside of herself to make her feel better.
In this kind of character, there is heavy judgement of oneself and thinking she is not good enough. So this kind of personality will look for others to make her feel good - in this case, her dad when she was young and boyfriends when she was a grown up.
As a good friend, I managed to tell her to listen to my view. She has to take responsibilities for her own feelings. She nodded in tears and agreed to listen to me and change her behaviour for the better and this is the last time she wanted to suffer this way.
Hopefully, this will make her more sensible and make her a better person. I wish the best for my dear friend.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
I care about family and friends
This little humble blog of mine was left untouched for the last 3 weeks. In just a blink of the eyes, we are now in the April. How soon. And I'm another year older. Today I feel like blogging again, because I have a lot of feelings to record down.
There is this Chinese phrase, "天下没有不散的宴席", meaning there is no unending banquet in this world. Think this is an understatement because it is so true, to the point of stupidity. Recently, I have heard of many friends and old buddies going to work overseas for a few years. To places like Taiwan, Singapore, Australia or Europe. I'll miss them. They say the chances to earn money with higher value are too good to be turned down. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity that you will regret if you miss it. At least the experience lets you see what's happening in your host country. Some fall in love with that country and migrated there in the end or they married there.
I had this wish when I was younger. But in the end, because the family needs my support, I had to forgo this thought. I did not become bitter with my parents for holding me on to that. After all I understand their feelings. In the end, I managed to get into a local university, which was very lucky considering I am a Chinese. In this country, education quotas depend on your race colours, not your academic results. I hope that will change very soon in the new government, if not, I can't see my country leaping to the next level in near future.
In the end, my effort did not go to waste as I did well. And I managed to get a good secure job and that made my parents very happy. They are the very traditional kind of parents. No out of the line adventures in life. They do give me more freedom as I grew up. Now I totally have my own freedom and I got to know many people too.
Nowadays, we keep in contact and with things like Facebook and so, connectivity is not an issue anymore. It would be a crime if you did not do so some say! I do my best to keep in contact with people and i don't think I do well somehow as I was always busy due to work.
Family and friends are very important to me because they bring more colours and hopes into my life.
There is this Chinese phrase, "天下没有不散的宴席", meaning there is no unending banquet in this world. Think this is an understatement because it is so true, to the point of stupidity. Recently, I have heard of many friends and old buddies going to work overseas for a few years. To places like Taiwan, Singapore, Australia or Europe. I'll miss them. They say the chances to earn money with higher value are too good to be turned down. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity that you will regret if you miss it. At least the experience lets you see what's happening in your host country. Some fall in love with that country and migrated there in the end or they married there.
I had this wish when I was younger. But in the end, because the family needs my support, I had to forgo this thought. I did not become bitter with my parents for holding me on to that. After all I understand their feelings. In the end, I managed to get into a local university, which was very lucky considering I am a Chinese. In this country, education quotas depend on your race colours, not your academic results. I hope that will change very soon in the new government, if not, I can't see my country leaping to the next level in near future.
In the end, my effort did not go to waste as I did well. And I managed to get a good secure job and that made my parents very happy. They are the very traditional kind of parents. No out of the line adventures in life. They do give me more freedom as I grew up. Now I totally have my own freedom and I got to know many people too.
Nowadays, we keep in contact and with things like Facebook and so, connectivity is not an issue anymore. It would be a crime if you did not do so some say! I do my best to keep in contact with people and i don't think I do well somehow as I was always busy due to work.
Family and friends are very important to me because they bring more colours and hopes into my life.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
We are product from our past
Talked to a friend recently and she told me she noticed the change in me. Change to someone that is more cheerful, friendlier and charming. There is quite a dramatic change she told me as I was quite a sulk in the past to be truthful.
I told her straight to the point that I had done all these months. She said she had heard of Marie Callas too but had no firm idea what she is all about.
Now, instead of focusing on the darker side, I have this natural tendency to focus my thoughts on the bright areas. This is not the natural human trend and it takes determination to do that.
My friend asked me she is a pessimist most of the time and she sadly told me that most of the events near us are always bad so how to keep yourself to be positive?
Simply, there might or might not be a hard and fast rule to solving this problem. A surefire way to make sure any positive thoughts outweigh negative. Slowly but surely, if you continue your efforts at increasing your positive thoughts, sooner or later, it will supplant the negative thoughts as the dominant player in your thinking.
We are all the product from our past and irregardless of what the situation is or what outcomes you have had in your past, always remember that your past belongs in the past and has absolutely nothing to do with who you are in the present or what you want to accomplish in the future.
I told her straight to the point that I had done all these months. She said she had heard of Marie Callas too but had no firm idea what she is all about.
Now, instead of focusing on the darker side, I have this natural tendency to focus my thoughts on the bright areas. This is not the natural human trend and it takes determination to do that.
My friend asked me she is a pessimist most of the time and she sadly told me that most of the events near us are always bad so how to keep yourself to be positive?
Simply, there might or might not be a hard and fast rule to solving this problem. A surefire way to make sure any positive thoughts outweigh negative. Slowly but surely, if you continue your efforts at increasing your positive thoughts, sooner or later, it will supplant the negative thoughts as the dominant player in your thinking.
We are all the product from our past and irregardless of what the situation is or what outcomes you have had in your past, always remember that your past belongs in the past and has absolutely nothing to do with who you are in the present or what you want to accomplish in the future.
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